"Why I Run" Question 3

February 19, 2017

Question 3: Is it completely okay if I just give up on people and let them fade into the past? Not thinking about them all the time and just live and let die, per se?

 

I tried to change people by thinking of them and their actions. Instead of figuring out a way to talk to people I work with I would force my work ethic on them and when it didn't take I would stew about it and lose sleep. This transferred to everything I was having problems with and on a personal level it was even worse.

 

I have friends that I haven't talked to in a while and I will not let it go. I constantly think of them and beat myself up thinking I must have done something wrong and then Bang! I am trying to figure out a way to make them happy so I can feel better about myself. I just wouldn't let things go ever. People just grow apart for no apparent reason sometimes, but try telling me that. Noooo, I can fix it. I bend my own self to make amends and I have to be friends with everyone and everyone has to like me.....

It was so wrong of me to be like this and it was bred into me growing up in a house of six older brothers and seeing the infighting and the fights in general. I watched and learned bad things. I tried to be liked by all my brothers, just bending and bending all the time never, ever living for myself, just fearing that someone might not like me...

 

 

Letting friends and even family go their own way is a good thing. Realizing that you don't have to live your life to keep friends and family is very important. It is good to remember good times and learn from them. It is great to have friends and it is also alright to grow apart. Believe it or not, it is okay to have people not like you. That’s just the way it is. Letting some people fade away and just be an old friend is fine.

 

So ‘live and let die’ is fine. Holding on to friends meant not being able to move forward in life. That’s a bad thing. Learn to put your life first, your own feelings, your own emotions, your own goals, and your own family. Your wife, your son, and you – most important of all is you! Because how can your wife and son actually learn and love and grow if you aren't there for them in mind and body 100%, not acting but truly there?

 

Let people go. Let them grow and if you meet in the middle even after 20 years you will still be happy to see them. Answer 3 is Yes. Live and let die. Let people go!!!! It hurts, sometimes for a long time, but just let it go. Hurting is part of healing.

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Author/Public Speaker/Writing Coach  DARCY PATRICK

 

Breaking the stigma behind depression and mental health

darcypatrick@sympatico.ca  cell: 289-241-0407