Yesterday as I drove home from Toronto, from an interview I had just finished. I thought to myself the “The outsider is doing pretty good”
You see I have always felt like an outsider for my entire life never fitting in and never really feeling comfortable in my own skin. I was always wanting to be part of the “in” crowd and I always acted and went out of my way to fit in with people and seek acceptance in hopes that I would someday be part of a group.
When I was young it was the popular crowd, when I got older it was the musician crowd. There was always some group I felt I had to a part of.. I was empty and lost always seeking approval.
I remember sitting in a therapy session and talking with my therapist and drawing a picture in my journal of a single stick figure facing a large crowd of other stick figures and writing “me “over top of the single figure. I looked at my therapist and said this is me the outsider, never fitting in and never being part of anything. She smiled at me like she always does and said “ If acting and trying to fit in never worked for so many years and left you so broken and depressed maybe it is time that you stopped acting and trying so hard? Just be yourself. Just forget about that big crowd and just start doing what you love, be yourself the crowd isn’t worth it anyway” I thought to myself you know she is right.
I started to really think about “Why I Run” and what is happening in my life because of it. All my speaking engagement’s, interviews, how people were coming into my place of work to talk to me about there lives. This is all happening because I decided to be myself after so many years. I thought to my self I like being an outsider! I am finally being myself and it is actually working I am helping people and living a life of purpose. I have to admit that I take pride in being one of a kind, I take pride in the fact that I am not like everyone else and what is even better is that by doing this I am actually helping people.
You see we are all unique people, we all deserve to have our own thoughts our own goals and our own dreams. Being and outsider means you are a unique individual. Each and everyone one of us are our own unique selves, with our own unique ways of being us. Embracing this is part of being yourself, part of being a strong and independent person who loves life and being alive! loving who you are and shining a bright light for the world to see is all about being different! So yes, I am an out sider and I like it!
Now I draw that picture of the lone stick figure facing the crowd of other stick figures but now there are stick figures leaving that crowd and coming over to were I am. This is happening because I stopped trying to be someone I am not. I stopped trying to fit into a group. I don’t see the people who are joining me as people who are in my crowd but I see them as unique individuals who have decided to be them selves. People who have learned to start living their own lives and don’t seek approval from others. I see these individuals thriving!
I am an outsider and I am proud to be who I am. I am loving life and learning more and more about myself everyday and I am helping people do the same thing! Join me in being and out sider it is a wonderful thing! Love who you are and the world will change for you!
"Only With open conversation can we break the stigma behind depression, Lets start talking and break it together"