As I have progressed through my therapy/ journey of bettering myself, becoming myself. I have learned so much about how I used to view the world, how I lived my life for so long with the depression glasses on. Never seeing the good things and placing so much value on the bad. But now I have tools and I enjoy using them. I work daily on seeing the world in different ways, changing my perspective and being happy!
I use radical acceptance on a daily basis and in doing so I have learned to not let the “have too’s “control my life anymore, like the used to.
I have learned to use thought records, to express my emotion on a daily basis, not keep it locked up in side me. By doing this I have freed myself and learned to find solutions and different ways of seeing situations that once brought me down. This was all part of changing my perspective and seeing things in new ways.
At work I used to have to be on top of everything, taking on every job I could, doing everything to perfection. This only made everything worse and added to my anxiety and grew my depression, I would get down on myself when things never went my way.
My stress level was high every day and I would lose sleep and create a cycle that could not be kept up, even by the strongest human.
When I changed my perspective, I changed how I worked, realizing that things didn’t have to happen right away, that things could be done differently then I felt they needed to be done. I realized that by letting go of control, I was taking control. I was changing the way I looked at things and in doing so I was growing. I was taking stress away. By knowing that things didn’t have to happen the way I wanted them to happen, I was changing my perspective and seeing things in a new way, a health way, away that didn’t keep me up at night and I was successful! I gained confidence over time because I saw that letting go was actually the greatest sign of power there was.
In my personal life I started doing things I loved to do, and learn not to feel guilty or selfish while I did them. I had to look at my life and realize that if I didn’t look after my self 1st than nothing else was going to change. I could not be the best father; husband and Darcy I could be if I was not happy.
If I didn’t love who I was, how could I ever be the best version me. So, I took action and I started to take time for my self everyday. I started going for coffee before work instead of going to work early. I took this time for my self and enjoyed it. I wrote my 1st book while I was sitting in the coffee shop. But that wasn’t all I did, I started to practice mindfulness, meditation, yoga. I started to dedicate time out of everyday for myself to enjoy life and I learned to make my own happiness and when I did my life really started to get interesting.
I embraced the tools that I was being taught to use in therapy and I started seeing them as ways of living. Thought Records, Journal Entries ect.. became things I enjoyed doing. I started to enjoy challenging my old ways of thinking and it was working.
I was enjoying seeing things in different ways. Part of seeing the world with a new perspective also met acknowledging the effect that negative emotion had on me, both physically and emotionally. Seeing it for what it was and not being afraid anymore to do so.
But also learning to truly enjoy the positive times in my life and learning to place more value on those times, acknowledging how I reacted both emotionally, and physically when I was happy! Which was a very enjoyable thing to do. When I did this I was learning to rewire my brain from negative to positive. Learning to think of just the good things and not the bad. It took hard work, and it was scary because my old way of thinking had started when I was just a little boy. So changing perspective and thinking differently was not so easy, but when something is enjoy able and you feel good doing it, it becomes easy to do over time.
The truth is, we are in time were people want instant results and we have grown a custom to, in fact we have come to demand answers and out comes right away. A strong scene of entitlement has been placed in each of us. Well mental health is not like a broken arm, that you put a cast on, there is no magic solution to change our thought patterns, traumas, self esteem issues, the list goes on and on. But the good news is that when you embrace the tools and want to change your life, your perspective, it is an enjoyable experience.
Who doesn’t enjoy doing things they love, being in control of there own recovery. Treating them self’s with love. Because changing your perspective is all those things and more. Learning to see the world in a new way is not a pain full experience but an enjoy able one.
Therapy is not a horrible word, but an empowering, wonderful, life changing experience. Changing perspective is a new way of living life, one filled with ups, downs and exciting new ways of seeing the world. It is actually living life and enjoying your time and the good news is that it is never to late to do so. There is no time line to bettering your self, there is no cut off point for happiness. Learn to change your perspective, walk around your thoughts see them in new ways. Learn that letting go of old ways of thinking and wanting to control things, is actually taking control of your life!
This phrase helps me see the world in a different perspective every time I say it. ”My experiences, struggles have made me strong not weak” Change your Perspective and you will change your life.
Darcy Patrick
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